The winter of 1985-86 was spent discussing methods of suicide. Could he wait for ten years or so, to see if circumstances changed? No. The two years of recovery after the last episode had seemed endless to him. When I pointed out that previous overdoses had inspired vomiting, so maybe the physical body had a strong life force, I was apparently ‘sick’.
The aftermath of an overdose isn’t as calm and peaceful as it appears in novels and films.
I thought I could go out for twenty minutes at a time, and would be back with suitable first aid skills. The kitchen knives were hidden. The washing line had been discreetly removed. There wasn’t any strong alcohol around, and he hadn’t been able to get a doctor’s appointment or any useful medication. He hadn’t been outside for weeks.
Who would find the deceased? When the plans seemed to be inevitable I suggested he should be close to a hospital at the end. Other people, who wanted to live, could benefit from healthy discarded organs, couldn’t they? This thought wasn’t well received.
Mostly you are the main character in the story. Sometimes you are helping someone else’s tale to unfold. There again, you might unwittingly be in the background of a much bigger drama. Your actions might affect the audience for many years hence.
berry daines 